I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
