i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I wear drunk well.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
