I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
We left the knife in your bed.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
