Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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