meet me or not, i'm out of control
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
