you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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