Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
