She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
