New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
