Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
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I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
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You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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