Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
