I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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