operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
