You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
