I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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