Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
We had sex on a dog bed..
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
