i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
