Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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