do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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