Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
