Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
