I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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