went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
