If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Randomize
