I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
