I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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