How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
