what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
