yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
