ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
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