Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Still dying that you shit outside
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
