Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
