i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
