i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Just pee around me
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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