sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
