like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Still dying that you shit outside
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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