Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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