Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I just want to make out with him forever
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
