Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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