I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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