i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
