My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.