the vacuum is drunk
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed