Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
