You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
