No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
