Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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