RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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