My hand turned me down
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
