we have officially lost it.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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