Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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