whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
