How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
