i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
that is very illegal...i love you.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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