Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
