I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
