carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
