i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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