just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
