How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Four minutes until I can fart!
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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