That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
It's like God shit irony all over that family
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
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I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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