So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
