she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
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